vtlty

Since moving to Alabama full-time in late June, I have met five people. I’m not a super extroverted person in general, so meeting new people has never been my forte. Add in a pandemic and moving to a new place, and you have an introvert in her truest form. I’m very content in my home, cooking and reading and writing and cuddling with my cat. But recently it’s been a lot of cooking and doomscrolling social media and feeling overwhelmed by all that is happening in the world right now. So I am trying to be more mindful about how I spend my time.

I’ve always enjoyed routines. Not in their most rigid form, but in a way that offers gentle guidance when life feels out of your control, something you can rely on. I try to Facetime or chat on the phone with a loved one at least once a week – wine night with my college friends, catching up with my friends from home, or discussing my parents’ home reno progress. My little sister and I also have Netflix party dates to binge Grey’s Anatomy. I try to journal, especially because I know how important it is for posterity’s sake, but also because it soothes my soul. And I finally finished the Irish fictional epic I’ve been avoiding (it was good, but it was A LOT).

But sometimes I’ll go to journal and see that the date of my last entry is 4 weeks ago. Because keeping a routine right now is really fucking hard. Time has never really seemed like an abstract concept to me, but now it feels like I’m watching it move through solidifying amber only to look down and realize it’s slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. I can’t seem to get a grip.

So when one of the women I met here mentioned an 8 week workout program she was just about to start, I asked her to be my accountability partner. And now I’m on week two.

I have literally never successfully done a workout program. Mostly because I’m an expert at convincing myself that I don’t have to do all the circuits, or that I deserve to skip a day for xyz. But what drew me in to this particular program is that it’s not centered on losing weight or getting your body super ripped. It’s about shaping a body that is functional – a body that can do all of the things I love like wake skate and hike and dance and practice yoga and walk and run errands all day and travel.

---

I went to one of my family’s bi-annual camping trips in June before heading back to Alabama. When I was in college I would always miss the trips because I was on a quarter system, so I was a little out of practice in the water-sports area. But I love to do a couple of runs behind the boat on a wake skate when I go. It took me a couple of tries to stand up on my first run, but overall it wasn’t too shabby. The next day I was so sore the thought of getting behind the boat made a little bubble of hysteria rise in my chest. So I took the day to chill with plans to get back at it the next day. But the next day, my body was still pretty beat. I shrugged it off and got behind the boat and proceeded to have one of the shittiest runs I’ve ever had. And it pissed me off.

I was frustrated with how weak I felt. And I don’t want to feel that weak again. Like, ever.

So I finally decided to do something about it.

---

I’m writing this because I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggles with consistency. Plus, this post will act as another accountability buddy. Talking about my body / athleticism has always felt uncomfortable, especially because I grew up surrounded by my super active and athletic brother and cousins (if you haven’t gathered yet, my extended family is very close). When I was a kid I was super active, but as I grew up I slowed down – which is normal.

Maybe it’s because the past few months have been so slow, physically, but now all I want to do is be able to move however I want. I’m doing this workout program to show respect to my future self and pay tribute to the spazzy kid I used to be.

I am going to really really try to look back on this post in late September and pat myself on the back. So cheers to doing something consistently for 8 weeks.

---

For anyone wondering, the program I’m doing is Sarah’s Day Sweat It To Shred It.